I'm Not in Love
by Whorendous
Summary: Both lost and alone. They fight against the tides of life. This is how they build each other up, tear each other down, and find their way out of the woods. Now a oneshot-ish series. Bamon/Romantic.
1. I'm Not in Love

**Yes. Another one. It's my day off and like I said... I've been obessing over Bamon. The Plot Bunnies are cruel and won't leave me alone. This one is more romantice then my other one. Nothing extensive as we know with these two characters it will be a low burn. **

**Again, this hasn't been beta'd. Just proof-read...a lot. **

**Please enjoy and review. It helps fuel the plot bunnies and gives my heart a flutter.**

**~Whorendous**

* * *

><p><em>I'm not in love, so don't forget it<em>

_It's just a silly phase I'm going through_

_And just because I call you up_

_Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made_

Bonnie sat on her bed and listened to the deafening quiet around her. She was back. Finally. But it felt weird. Almost too calm. She rubbed her arms, attempting to rid herself of the feeling. She leaned back and stared at the ceiling banisters. The last couple of months were a strange whirlwind of chaos that had challenged not only her morals, she did kill Kai and _maybe _even enjoyed it, but her standing among her friends. Jeremy hasn't attempted to come see her anymore. Not after that stupid fiasco last week. Elena and Caroline were concentrating on winter finals. She felt lost and out of place.

Bonnie glanced to the side over at her side table. She smiled at the photograph of her, Caroline and Elena grinning. It was taken only a year or so ago at some party Caroline decided to throw. Bonnie squinted and noticed something in the background. She grabbed the picture and studied it. She let out a chuckle when she realized who it was exactly sticking out his tongue behind her.

_Damon. You sneaky bastard. _

Her eyes softened. The man infuriated her but he quickly became someone she relied on. And it oddly didn't surprise her anymore. The four months they had together had become an odd quirky bonding trip. But don't count on her letting him know that.

_Team building exercise._ Bonnie snorted and rolled her eyes as she laid the picture on her lap. She looked around the empty dorm room. She hadn't been around for classes so she had no finals to take. No expectations to fill or spells to do. She lifted her hand and stared at her palm. Her left hand caressed the lines of the other, feeling the rough skin. She had her magic back and could feel it burn underneath her skin. It felt familiar and strange all at the same time. She closed her eyes and reveled in the power. The magic curled in her stomach and flowed through her heart. This was who she was and she _loved_ it. She realized she never wanted to be without her magic again.

She couldn't afford to anyways. She had friends who relied on her to have it.

Bonnie sighed as her slips pulled into a half smile.

"What are you grinning about, Witchy?"

Bonnie snapped her eyes open in surprise and whipped her head up to stare at the vampire in the door way. She watched him suck down on what she knew was bourbon.

"What the hell are you doing here, Damon?"

He leaned forward and swaggered his way into the room. Resting his arm on her bed post, he looked at her with a self-deprecating smirk. He took another gulp of the bottle in his hand and just stared at her.

Bonnie's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and she looked down at her comforter. Why would he be here? She looked up again when she felt the mattress dip next to her.

"Move over." The demand came out with a flick of his wrist and she glared up at him.

"This is my bed, Damon." She moved over anyways. But only a little bit.

He kicked off his shoes and then pull up his legs onto the bed.

"So what?" He took another swig of his drink and stared off at Elena's bed. Bonnie crinkled her nose at the smell. She jabbed her elbow into his ribs.

"Haven't you had enough of me in these past couple of months?"

There was a pregnant pause and Damon ripped his icy glare from Elena's bed to the young witch beside him. He took in the planes of her dark tan face and felt a sense of familiarity filled him. She was back. Kai was dead. And everything should be right with the world. He scoffed. Except the love of his life has forgotten the love they had shared. On_ purpose_.

"Surprisingly, Nope." He branded the word with a resounded pop on the 'p' and took another sip of the burning alcohol.

Her lips pursed in confusion until it hit her. Warmth of her realization washed over her and a sense of playful giddiness bubbled inside her.

"Oh my god. You are actively seeking me out. You missed me!"

His mouth twisted into an aggressive frown.

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

She huffed and crossed her arms. "Then why are you here?"

He paused and blinked. Why was he here? To talk to her…he missed her stupid voice yammering. It had been too quiet these past days. But would he tell her that? _Hell no._ He scoffed.

"I had nothing else better to do."

Bonnie's mouth curved into a small smile. She was getting better at reading him and could tell his lie from a mile away. She scooted closer to him and leaned her head on his shoulder smiling.

"I didn't miss you either."

Damon snorted.

"Everyone misses me, Bon Bon. I'm irresistible." He handed her the bottle and she quirked an eyebrow at him before grabbing it and taking a sip. Her face crumpled into a disgusted face. Man, did that burn.

"Whatever, Damon."

She leaned her head back down on his shoulder and looped an arm into his.

"It has been a wild couple of months, hasn't it?"

"Yup". He popped on the 'p' sound again and Bonnie rolled her eyes. Conversing with him always started this way. She yapped until he couldn't handle it anymore and then he started talking just to stop hearing her voice. She always found the ritual amusing, because in his own twisted way, she knew he cared.

He sighed as he listened to her talk about getting back her magic, stupid college regulations, and what she was going to do for the next semester. They passed the bottle between them and he gave his input about what he thought about college, _who gives a fuck_, until a comfortable silence laid between them.

He cleared his throat after he took a sip of the significantly dwindled bottle of bourbon.

"I'm starting to not care, Bonnie. The feeling is running away from me."

Bonnie raised her head slowly, the bourbon heady in her veins. She squinted up at him in confusion. He looked down at her, sadness seeping out. She was surprised at the truthfulness of his statement. Damon Salvatore was not the bare-my-soul type of guy. Unless she rubbed his face with the truth until he screamed it. She always enjoyed that, but only a little bit. Her heart broke as she saw the tears of frustration water his eyes. She swallowed hard. She knew what he was talking about now. She listened to him talk about how much he loved her best friend for months. He couldn't stop and would light up like a candle when he did. It was part of the reason why he wormed his way into her limited list of friends to protect. He acted the way he did because he cared too much. Loved too much. Not quite unlike her. And it killed her to see him break down, so un-Damon like. The pain of being forgotten was a rough road. She would know.

She gave him a shaky smile, tears filling her vision. Her hand raised slowly and he watched in fascination as went to his cheek almost clumsily. When it landed, his eyes shot to hers in unadulterated surprise.

"I know. It's okay. You're not alone." She patted the cool skin beneath her hand and blinked owlishly up at him.

The words should feel hollow and desolate. But they don't. Instead they fill his chest with comfort and hope. He wasn't alone and his little witch knew what he was going through. He stared down at her in quiet shock. His hand let go of the empty bottle and went to cover her own.

Bonnie's head was hazy, but she could feel his cool thumb caress the top of her hand and she dropped her eyes to their hands. Life really had gotten weird if this felt not only normal…but _right._

_Spirits help me. _

She shook her head and laughed off the feeling, her hand dropping away.

"I think the bourbon is too strong for me."

Damon's mouth pulled into a side-smirk and he puffed out some air as he re-adjusted to put some distance. As much as he could at least. It was a _small_ bed.

"Yeah, pesky weak human."

She smacked him lightly.

"I'm a witch again, so not all that human."

He grabbed the bottle that rested between them and leaned over her. He placed it on the bedside table.

Bonnie tried not to scoot down as he leaned over her but his sandalwood smell overwhelmed her senses. She watched the zipper handle of his leather jacket swing and tried not to think of how close he was. She swallowed hard as he moved back to his place on her bed.

"Close enough, although I'm starting to think you're part cat." His eyebrows raised up in a joking manner. She chuckled.

"How many lives is that now?"

"Meh, who cares?" He snorted as she smacked him again. His eyes clouded over with seriousness again as he looked around the room.

"But, Bon-Bon, if you ever try sacrificing yourself again. Do me a favor, and don't." He emphasized on "don't" by turning back and glaring at her.

Bonnie could feel her pride boil.

"You don't get to tell me what to do. I -"

He cut her off with his fingers pinching her lips together. He leaned closer to her face, his stare burning with emotion.

"Yes, I do. And I am telling you don't ever sacrifice yourself again. Not for Baby Gilbert, not for Caroline, and most definitely, not me. Never me. Got it?"

Bonnie squirmed and tried to smack his arm away. But then another epiphany sparked into her brain. Her anger subsided a little and she looked at him with those damning eyes of hers.

"You moron."

Damon leaned back, his eyes checked her face guardedly. Her stare was beginning to unsettle him. Like it always did when she figured something out…usually regarding him.

She sighed and looked down at his hand between them. She scooted back against the headboard more and curled her hand around his, their fingers intertwining. She tugged on it gently, he would almost call it affectionate. He shook his head. He never really understood how she could switch emotions so quickly. He stared at the opposite wall.

"You're worth saving, Damon Salvatore. There's hope for you."

He swallowed hard. He throat felt tight. Familiar words. He felt a slight weight on his shoulder again and he looked down at the brunette. She yawned and in no way, shape or form, did he find it cute. Okay, maybe a little.

Bonnie settled lower in the bed to get a little more comfortable. Her emotions and the bourbon had made her tired and sleepy.

"I'm sure this is the last place you want to be tonight, Damon. But I'm glad you are."

He smiled and for once it was a genuine smile. He looked up at the ceiling as he could hear her heart steady in to a slow sleepy beat. His hand squeezed her hand lightly as to not wake her back up.

"Not exactly."


	2. Human

**Hello, my pretties. I decided to continue the I'm Not in Love story since I got so many wonderful reviews. * wiggles eyebrow * I told you reviews make my heart flutter. ;) **

**Also, if you guys have any song you wish me to try and write about, please send me your suggestions! ( I'm sure you've noticed I alway begin with a lyric or two in the start of my fictions ) **

**Anyways, the show goes on. **

**I apologise for any misspellings and grammatical errors. Like my other fics, this one was not beta'd. **

**Enjoy and Review! **

**~ Whorendous**

* * *

><p><em>But I'm only human<em>

_And I bleed when I fall down_

_I'm only human_

_And I crash and I break down_

_Your words in my head, knives in my heart_

_You build me up and then I fall apart_

_'Cause I'm only human_

"Blonde was always my favorite."

Bonnie watched in horror as the pool of blood swirled around the water drain between them. He tossed the dead girl's body to the side and she could only stare as the lifeless corpse fell down with a slight bounce against the pavement. She could feel her heart cursing its self. Mad it _stupidly_ granted this murderer permission to build a home there. And in that very moment, Bonnie hated herself. How could she ever think he could rise above his nature? The rain thumped dully against her skull. Her clothes, she could sense, gradually heaver as the seconds passed. Her throat tightened and she raised her gaze to his blue eyes.

_Empty. So god damned frigging empty._

All the anger and confusion blinded her and her nerves were shot to hell. Nails dug into the plump skin of her palms, blood had yet to release underneath the sharp sting.

"Well, if it isn't Miss. Judgey herself. "

Bonnie flinched at the cold vibration of his tone. This voice did not belong to the man who she had come to know while on the Other Side. This was something darker…evil. It was the _vampire_ she loathed from the bottom of her heart. The monster who slaughtered her Grams, turned her birth mother and if she was truly honest, whom she feared. Green eyes observed the blood dripping on his mouth and down his neck and her heart dropped. He was so far away from _her_ Damon. Yes, despite all possible logical scenarios, she had a part of Damon she cared for deeply for. One, she believed, was a shimmer of the man he was before Katherine. Before the shit-storm that is his life, began as a vampire. Her fists squeezed tighter and her lips pursed angrily. He didn't deserve to call her nicknames…that was a privilege solely for friends. This…_thing_ was not her friend.

"Why, Damon? Why would you ruin…" _Everything._

He let his smirk twist into something more sinister than she has ever seen on him before. He began to walk towards her and every cell in her body told her to run. Yet, a single wisp of hope called on her instinct to fight. That tiny piece of her grew and resurrected the firm belief that she could bring him back from _whatever_ this was. His footsteps splashed the puddles of water as he came closer. She backed up slightly and raised her right hand. Pushing a wave of magic in his direction, she could feel her nervousness quell as he dropped to his knees. Her bloodline promised she was not alone in this. A moment passed. He hummed in pain and wagged his finger in her direction. His head cocked to the side as if he found something amusing and released a dark chuckle.

"Now, Bonnie, if you wanted me on my knees all you had to do was ask. You kinky girl."

Bonnie's lip quivered at the sadistic innuendo. Her heart broke at how much of himself he had lost. Memories of pancakes, late night monopoly games, and his carefree laughter flashed before her. Anger raged throughout her system. How could he? How could he just forget everything they've been through? How much good he had in him?

"Shut up, Damon! I should kill you for killing that girl. We've been here before. You know what I can do to you." She pressed her power against him and he fell back with a painful groan, his legs plopping out from under him. She hesitated before she slowly made her way to his feet. She swallowed hard and glanced down at him. She ignored the emotional agony of betrayal that stuck in her throat and took a deep breath. _I have to do this._

"I'm going to kill you, Damon. But first, I want you to tell me _why_. Why did you let it win?" _How could you?_

Damon winced and tried to shove away the pain he could hear in her voice. _I don't care. Not again. Never again. I'm done. _He opened his eyes and looked up to meet her gaze. What he found there was not the hate he expected. The pure disappointment that glared in her orbs broke whatever part of his heart Elena and Katherine had left him. His face contorted into anger. Anger at himself and the bloodlust that he loved so much. He could feel the weight of her spell lessen and he sat up, screaming his frustration. He looked down at his reflection in the water and glared at the man (beast) that stared back. Was this all he could ever be? His shoulders hunched over.

Bonnie could feel the defeat and regret wash over the man in front of her. Her hand dropped and she let go of the spell she held over him. Part of her brain warned her to kill him, begged, but the anguish that bellowed from him reminded her that there was still hope for this man. _Her_ Damon still resided within the shell she battled now. Bravely, she step over to his side and drop to her knees.

"What happened?" she whispered, raising her hand slowly to his cheek.

He slapped away the comfort she offered and glared up at her through his wet bangs. Remembering the confrontation with Elena earlier, he snarled.

Bonnie frowned and watched him carefully. She observed him struggling to erect the emotional wall she has seen pop up when he was feeling vulnerable. She ignored the thought on the back of her mind that asked, _when did she get so good at reading him?_ But concentrated on quieting the desire to smack him out of her own frustration. _Why does he make it so hard to like him?!_

Damon gathered as much venom he could muster and steadied his eyes on hers. "Nothing. I'm just _finally_ accepting the _place_ that has been set for me since I was born, witch."

Her eyes widened and her heart stopped_. What on earth does that mean?_ She opened her mouth to ask, but a second study of his face made her hesitate. Two words popped into her brain. _The villain. _

Something clicked and she finally saw it all. Everything that made Damon…_Damon_. She finally realized…he had used this act his whole life. He was the bad brother. The one who broke the rules and made poor decisions. He probably, from the very beginning of his life, failed to reach the image someone had for him. Maybe that's why vampirism fit him so well. So he got used to doing the opposite of what he should to…in order lower the expectations others had of him. He couldn't fail something that wasn't there. _Oh, you fucking…_

She moved so quick, neither Bonnie nor Damon could understand what happened.

"Son of a bitch!" Damon leaned over and held his bloody nose. He stared up at the witch in shock. "You punched me." Stunned, they both stumbled up, the rain beating down so hard they had to blink. Both of them were breathing heavily, shoulders rising to the beat of their lungs. He looked on as she brushed her short black hair out of her face, her eyes blazing down at her hand in wonder. Despite his nose quickly healing, he walked over to her and glared.

"Witchy, you can't just go around punching people!" he screeched indignantly like a child.

A beat passed.

Bonnie looked back at him and warmth colored her body. Something akin to hope and relief bubbled within her. _He's back._ Her mouth quivered a bit and then it broke into a full on grin. She started laughing. Pure laughter escaped her lips and she had to lean over, catching herself on her knees.

Damon's eye widened while his mouth curled into disbelief. She was _laughing_. At him. He looked around in surprise, his hands down uselessly at his side. He watched the glee roll off of her in waves and let the feeling glaze over him.

Bonnie sighed as her laughter subsided. She looked back up at him and pushed down the second set of giggles when she saw his befuddlement. _Oh my god, did that feel good. _She quirked her lips at him and swaggered over to stand before him_. _Her chin lifted, so she could meet his eyes head on. Putting one hand on her hip and the other poking him in the chest, she said "That was a long time coming, Salvatore."

Damon's eyes glanced down at her finger and back to her eyes. Seeing the humor there he could feel his body and mind relax instantly. Her emotions were infectious. _Like a plague. A pleasant, unwanted plague._ At that, he snorted, and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. He adjusted his stance and shook his head.

"Yeah, I guess it was, Bennett." He smiled down at her.

Her breath caught and she could feel her heart pound in her chest. Cliché? Yes. Was he _that_ good looking? _Oh, unfortunately, yes. _Licking her lips, she leaned her face closer to his. She briefly wondered if he could feel her breath on his face and then hoped her breath didn't smell. She pushed that thought away and pointed a finger at him. She confidently announced, "Damon Salvatore, unfortunate pain in my ass, if you think that you can hide from my expectations of you. Of the good, I know you have. The good person that I know is still in this," she poked the right side of his chest again, sharply, "shriveled heart of yours, you are sorely mistaken." She watched his eyes widen and she enjoyed, as she often did, that she got the upper hand on him. _Can't hide now, Damon. The witch is on fire tonight._ "As your friend," He quirked an eyebrow at this. "Yes, I said _friend_. Trust me, it's against my better judgment." She took a deep breath. "I swear on the life of my ancestors and Bennett blood, I will give you an aneurysm so painful you will wish you were back in Rebekah's torture room, if you ever _**ever**_ think you can run away from your humanity again." She puffed out the last sentence as she ran out of breath at the end. Her green eyes sparkled, challenging him to try her.

Both of Damon's eyebrows raised this time. He was dumbfounded. First of all, only Stefan had confronted him about this. Second, he never ever thought of all the people who could figure it out, it would be Bonnie **fucking** Bennett. He wanted to be angry, furious, that she thought she could wrap her head around how he felt. How _dare_ she? Hell, she has frequently poked the chinks in his armor; such as that delightful parking lot conversation back in 1994. He got pissed off then. But now, he couldn't muster up the fury. He never imagined she would understand so much. Accept so much. He was absolutely caught off guard. Which made his world a little off kilter. His mouth parted a little in fascination at this tiny woman who understood what the rest of the women in his life never did. Or at least cared enough to bring up. Her green eyes pulled him in and he could feel his, as she called it, _shriveled up heart_ tug so hard it _hurt_. His eyes widened further. He knew this feeling. Oh…did he ever. He smirked lightly.

_Little Bonnie Bennett, trying to steal my heart. Who would'ya thunk it?_

Bonnie was startled at the smirk she saw creep onto his lips. That was not the reaction she expected. None-the-less she refused to back down. She crossed her arms in front of her, snuggly against the undersides of her breasts. She straightened her spine, preparing for the argument she was sure to follow, as it always did when she rubbed his nose in his mistakes.

He glanced subtly down as her chest puffed out. He wondered why he never noticed them quite like this before. They were almost the perfect size, he only says "almost" because he hasn't felt them up. _Yet. _

His smirk grew wider and Bonnie had a distinct feeling of being prey. She looked him up and down. "What?"

Damon crunched his nose mockingly and waved his arm in front of him. "Nothing. Don't worry about it, little bird." His eyes widened for emphasis and he grinned. Oh, he liked that nick name. He was keeping that one.

Bonnie did back up a little bit then. Wary of his change in mood, she switched the subject quickly.

"What made you go all, evil vampire Damon? I don't think it was something simple as stubbing your toe." She raised one eyebrow, daring him to hide from her question.

Damon sobered up pretty quickly, his eyes dulling a little. Eyebrows furrowed. Bonnie got the distinction this may have something to do with her best friend and prepared to have an objective perspective on the situation. For all their sakes. She shivered a little and rubbed her arms over her jacket.

Damon took notice and lifted a hand to her hair and tucked the loose piece behind her ear. His eyes closed and reopened. "I'll tell you in a minute. But let me clean up my mess. Here are the keys to my car," he grabbed her wrist and dropped the keys in her hand. "I'll meet you there in a second." He narrowed his eyes at her and tapped her nose. "No joy rides." He smirked again and twirled around to face the body behind him.

Bonnie rolled her eyes. However, her heart was thumping so loudly she knew he must have heard it. He was acting…flirty? Nah. Even if he was, this was Damon, man-whore extraordinaire. She ignored the whisper that reminded her that he was always faithful to the girls he fell for. She swallowed and closed her eyes, and forced herself to walk over to his car…trying to ease the guilt of the dead girl behind her.


	3. Clear Blue Sky

**So...tonight's episode depressed me. Angered me. And then inevitably inspired me. I need some hope and I'm sure you do too. So see this chapter as some hope for us all. **

**This is a replacement chapter from the one I was going to post. ( Sorry for the mix up in notifications for this chapter! )**

**Take Note: This takes place after 6x09 so it is a back track from previous one-shots. Bonnie centric with important Bamon feels. Some swearing. Again, unbeta'd but proof-read. Any errors are unintentional.**

**~ Whorendous**

* * *

><p><em>Just saying for once I'm putting myself first<br>Putting myself first, putting myself first  
>So I'm leaving this town for good,<br>Gotta gotta get out of this neighborhood  
>Just like you never ever thought I could,<br>Never thought I could, never thought that_

Bonnie looked around the Salvatore house, her eyes swollen from crying. Her limbs were heavy with regret and exhaustion.

She had no hope left.

_They weren't there._ Damon **promised** and they weren't there.

Feeling her lungs quivering, Bonnie steadied her breathing again. Her arms wrapped around her for comfort. She was alone and would never see her friends again.

A pink tongue poked out, a nervous habit, rolling over cracked and dry lips.

She was stuck here forever…and there was **nothing **she could do about it. Nodding her head, trying to accept the horrible fate, she took a deep breath walking further into the hall. Each step she took, the heels of her boots clicked on the wood. The sound made her wince. It was loud and hollow and made her feel more alone than she had ever felt before. Despite her efforts, her thoughts blurred around her.

Her magic was gone. The spirits were closed off from her. And…Damon was gone. Her last chance at getting out of here disappeared. Bonnie almost collapsed in the door way of the kitchen. She put out an arm to prop her tired body and she glanced at the kitchen table. A sharp pain dug into her heart.

_Pancakes. _

Her vision blurred again and something she had buried deep within her, bloomed. She missed him. God, she actually missed him. Of all people, him! She inhaled a painful breath, tears still threatening to fall and stared at the half eaten pancakes. She was so happy to hear that she was going home that she actually _fantasied _their reunion. She would come out running from nowhere calling his name then jump into his arms, forcing him into hug they both never expected to share in this lifetime. He would make some stupid dirty joke, but then hug her back just as fiercely, happy that she was okay and alive. She would hug Elena too…then they all would go home. Happily ever after.

_But life isn't a fairy tale, and my luck finally ran out. _

Bonnie chewed her lip and looked at the ceiling. She tried to use gravity to pull the tears behind her eyes but they fell down her cheeks anyways. Her stomach was empty and the smell of food had woken it up with a painful grumble. Her arm dropped from the door way and she backed out of the kitchen slowly. She had no desire to eat. Besides, she would cry the entire time and she was too tired to do that in a stiff wooden chair. Bonnie made her way back to the hallway, head down and her hands limp at her sides. She planned on going to the bedroom on the first floor. She had been using it since she arrived and she needed the familiarity desperately. Bonnie got closer to her bedroom but then paused as she landed in front of the bottom of the staircase. Raising her chin a little, she eyed the staircase and then shrugged her shoulders.

_Why not? He's not here to care. Or make fun of me for that matter._

Without a second thought, Bonnie found herself climbing the stairs slowly and sighing as she finally arriving at the top. She clumsily walked over to his room and raised her hand to the glass door knob. She hesitated.

_This is stupid. _

Angry at herself for needing to be there, she twirled around and started walking back to the stairs. She looked down, seeing the wood of the first floor, and the feeling of absolute lonesomeness crawled over her skin. Defeated, she glanced back with a sigh. She retraced her steps and yanked the door open quickly. Stumbling inside, Bonnie was overwhelmed with the scent of sandalwood and bar soap. Her heart cracked even further.

_Oh, god. I'm really alone. _

Green, watery eyes landed on the king sized bed draped in black silk. She felt her balance wobble, her body and mind crushed under the mammoth of defeat. She stripped her body out of the clothes she wore, fingers barely making through the effort. She was finally down to just her black panties when she looked back down at the bed. She shifted uncomfortably.

_Okay, this is a little weird. _

She looked around until she spotted a discarded plaid collared shirt. She snatched it up with a yank and put it on. Satisfied that she wasn't going to be completely naked in Damon Salvatore's bed, she lifted the sheets and tumbled in. Her bones melted back into the mattress, soothing the ache of the day. She flopped around a bit to get comfortable, sighing when she found the right spot.

_He calls __**this**__ lumpy? Is he nuts?! _

She laughed lightly. Her smile faded quickly as her gaze hopped around the empty room. The darkness was stale and she was reminded of the Animal Cracker boxes Grams would buy her when she would visit over the weekend. She would always try to finish the whole box and if she couldn't, she would make sure there were multiple animal crackers left, so the others wouldn't be alone. Stuck in a dark rectangle box always made the young Bonnie feel bad for them. Such a childish notion but here she was, an animal cracker in her box, without any animal pals around her for comfort. She choked back a cry and threw her face against the cool surface of the silk pillowcase as she curled onto her side. She inhaled and the sharp scent of Damon wafted around her. A twisted peace came over her.

_He's safe and Elena's safe because she's with him. _

She was startled at the realization that she trusted Damon so much it actually calmed her down. How deep her belief in Damon, the good man he could be if he put his stubborn mind to it, was blindsiding. But how long could he last with Kai in the real world? She gripped the sheets tightly. Kai was a power hungry warlock with no respect for life or family. Even Klaus gave a shit about his family. Bonnie rubbed her face out of frustration. She wanted to help keep her friends safe but what good was she here in 1994? And to be mother fucking honest, she was tired. Tired of sacrificing herself for the sake of others. Did she regret everything she did for her friends? Not. One. Bit. But, she was stuck in a solitary purgatory because of it. And she only had herself to blame. She was so close to just giving up.

_They won't…Damon and Elena have each other and if I'm right about that stupid bet, which I so am Damon, Caroline has Stefan. And Jeremy….Jeremy…would have moved on by now. _

Bonnie sighed and wiped a tear away with a hand and then crooked the hand under her pillow to get a little more comfortable. She frowned when her hand came in contact with box underneath the pillow. She yanked out an old video recorder. Bonnie sat up, curiosity peaked. She tried to find the play button and once she located it, she pressed play.

_Wait…shit…what if this is a sex tape?! That would be so Damon it's not even funny! _

Bonnie shut her eyes and tried to find the stop button with her fingers.

"I'm in my own, personal hell."

Bonnie stilled and opened up her eyes to see Damon talking to the camera. Her eyebrow quirked up and she watched, fascinated as he walked around the house talking about how he killed Zach's pregnant wife.

_A video journal? Are you kidding me, Damon_?

She watched as the regret and guilt filled his eyes as he stared into the lens. She leaned back into the headboard, pulling the covers over her. The film played out, she observed him drinking out of a bottle and ending up in the living room sitting in front of the fire. Suddenly, the video cuts to him making pancakes and Bonnie laughs as he makes a comment on how much he loves that she hates them. The feed cuts out again and suddenly he is sitting on the couch, drinking his bourbon.

"I guess it's not so bad being here. If I was honest, I would say I have an annoying witch to thank for that." Damon pauses and looks down at his drink. He smirks and swirls around his tumbler. He raises his hand to his mouth and rubs his mouth thoughtfully.

"I never thought, Judgey of all people, would believe that there was hope for someone like me." He smiles at the camera and raised his glass in its direction. "To hope and optimism, Bon-Bon."

Bonnie smiled shakily. Her fingers brushed the screen lightly over his face. The picture changed again and her fingers fell away. The camera was walking through the hallway into the living room. It was nighttime and the fire was going again. She could hear Damon's footsteps from behind the camera. The red couch came into view again, but this time, Bonnie could make out a head of brown hair laying on the arm of the sofa. She sat up straighter on Damon's bed, watching the camera curve around the couch. She saw the image of herself sleeping on the couch fill out the frame. The camera shakes and is finally set down on what most likely is the coffee table.

Damon's jean covered legs come into the picture as he walks over to the couch and grabs a blanket from the back of the chair behind him.

Bonnie lays her free hand over her mouth in surprise as she watches Damon covers her sleeping form and pulls out the Grimoire from her body. He lifts her legs a bit and sits down, placing them on his lap, He looks over at her and sighs.

"Falling asleep trying to find a way to stop another psychopath. What a fucking surprise." Damon shook his head and let his hands fall on Bonnie's legs. The Bonnie in the video squirms a little bit before resting again. His eyebrows draw in concentration. He takes a deep breath and looks over at the unconscious witch.

"I'm not going to let you play hero again. We're both going to get out." Bonnie notices his hands start to rub her feet subconsciously. She's a little embarrassed to see herself moan a little in her sleep at the ministrations but Damon barely even notices. Worry sketched all over his face.

"I don't know what Kai is up to but he isn't going to pull anymore bullshit. Not with me here." He leans over and brushed the hair out of her face. "Why the fuck do you put faith in me? Your expectations make me more worried than Stefan's 80's hair did." He went back to rubbing her feet. "Trust me, that's a lot of worry." He snorted but quickly sobered up. Determination rounded his face.

"How do you do it? How do you make me want to meet your crazy, unwanted expectations? How do you keep hope in something that I lost hope in almost two centuries ago?" He shakes his head and laughs uncharacteristically.

"I knew you were a little off in the head, little witch." Damon turned his head and looked straight at the camera. "But I wouldn't want you any other way. Judgey, stubborn, and hopeful. That's who you are and I hate to say it…but I think I'm stuck with you. But you can't get rid of me either. Friends to the end and all that. " Damon rolls his eyes and glances down at the feet he is rubbing. "But the whole self-sacrificing stunts, those can go. You're here because of them. And damn it, Bonnie, you're not a fucking hero. You're a semi-competent witch who throws her life away. We're selfish and we take advantage of it." He got quite for a moment. "I took advantage of it." He adjusted uncomfortably into the back of the sofa. "You're the best one out of all of us but damn do you suck at being selfish. You're not gunna like this, but piece of advice Judgey, pull a Damon and put Bonnie Bennett first. "

Bonnie looked away from the video, blinking away her tears.

"And don't ever lose hope, Bonnie. I need you to hold onto it for me." Bonnie's eyes reeled back to the picture in shock to see Damon, affectionately looking down at her sleeping self. He stood up and lifted her up, walking out into the hall out of the frame. "Also, you will never see this tape. Ever."

Bonnie set the camera down and scooched down on the bed, her body sinking back down into the sheets. Her hand rested on her forehead as she looked up at the ceiling of his bedroom. Emotions swirled within her. Anger at his truthfulness. Pride at his desire to be a better man because of her. Sadness at the reality of her losses over the years. And finally, joy that he is finally learning to hope.

She sighed.

He wasn't able to keep his promise. But maybe it was better this way. Maybe she could learn something from him too. It was time for Bonnie to be selfish. She had no one else to rely on now, anyways. Just her.

She closed her eyes and folded her hands over her chest. She could feel her heart swell with the freedom of it all. She was a Bennett witch for God's sake and she would find a way to get her magic back. It was time for her to get the fuck out of this place. She fell into a peaceful sleep, her hope slowly growing with each breath. Gone unnoticed, a tiny flame lit on a lone candle on the bedside table.

_Never lose hope, little bird. _

**To be continued…**


	4. Coming Home

**Hello everybody! **

**Okay, I look haggered for two reasons. **

**1. Far Cry 4**

**2. Plot-Bunnies. I couldn't sleep without imagining this chapter in my head. God help me. **

**So please reap the benefits of my torture. This is also an apology for any confusion regarding the release of the 3rd chapter yesterday. **

**Please Note: This the continuation of Chapter 3. If you haven't read it, you are going to miss some inside jokes. Warnings: Swearing. Un'betaness. And Steroline splashes again. If you don't like that can of worms...maybe skip those parts. They aren't that big anyways. **

**Please enjoy and review! Reviews bring the lights to my eyes and lure the plot-bunnies home. **

**~Whorendous**

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><p><em>I'm coming home, I'm coming home<em>_  
><em>_Tell the world I'm coming home__  
><em>_Let the rain wash away__  
><em>_All the pain of yesterday_

Bonnie looked over the steering wheel of Damon's 1969 Chevy Camaro Convertible, glancing at the cloudless sky. She fingered the zipper of his leather jacket. Her lips quirked. She grabbed the jacket from his room on an impulse. Today was risky and she needed to feel someone was with her, even if that person was once her sworn enemy. She leaned back and looked up. The moon was just about to cover the rays of the sun.

_Alright, it's time. Adios, 1994._

She angled her head down again and grinned. She whispered the ancient words, magic weaving together. Pulling the gear, she pressed her foot on the pedal, the growl of the engine blaring to life. The car raced to the edge of the cliff and flew off, quickly descending into the unknown.

_I'm coming home, guys._

* * *

><p>"How bad is it?"<p>

Stefan combed his hand through his hair, the other hand on his hip. He glanced back at Elena with a sigh.

"Bad."

Elena grimaced. She knew that Damon had taken their abandoning of Bonnie hard, but she never expected him to hole himself away. She was surprised, not only due to her erased memories of him, but because he had been so relentless about their relationship, it was weird to see him obsessing over anything else.

_I did this for Bonnie, not for you, Elena._

Then again, he had been surprising her ever since their failed trip to 1994. She tilted her head and placed her chin on the edge of the sofa, watching the fire. It almost made her feel like she didn't really belong in his world right now. She didn't know how to feel about that.

Stefan placed his hand on the cool stone of the cottage's fireplace.

The doors slammed open and Alaric, Tyler, Caroline stormed through. Elena sat up as Stefan righted himself.

"What the fuck does Enzo got against you Stefan? He took Matt!" Tyler roared.

"Hey! Don't get mad at him. For all we know, Enzo is just doing this for kicks!" Caroline retorted, sitting next down next to Elena.

Elena watched Caroline with barely disguised amusement. She was always quick to defend those she loved, even if she was mad at them. It was one of the things Elena loved her for.

Caroline could feel Stefan's eyes on her and despite herself, she stared right back at him. He gave her a small smile of thanks and she quickly went back to eying Tyler. She hated when he did that. _Really._

Alaric was growing impatient. "Who cares about some nutso, vampire? My girlfriend's psycho brother is back from some time dimension that _Elena_ and _Damon_ helped him come out of!"

Elena's anger spiked. "We were helping _Bonnie, _Alaric! Damon wanted to get her back and Kai escaped on his o-"

Alaric kicked a nearby chair, the thud echoed, running along the tension. "He _compelled_ me, Elena. Unlike some people, I _didn't want it_."

Elena flinched.

Stefan put his hands in the air, trying to defuse the situation. "Guys, come on. We can't fight right now. We have Enzo and Kai to deal with and this isn't helping. We need everyone to work together regardless of any personal," his eyes slid to Caroline, "issues. Especially, since we might be a man down." He pressed his lips together firmly.

Caroline ignored his look and eyed the room around her. "Where the hell is Damon?"

Stefan opened his mouth to answer but Elena cut him to the chase.

"He's…researching." Elena bit her lip.

"Researching? Wait what?" Tyler was taken aback. He had been feeling like he was in the Twilight Zone ever since he came back from New Orleans. From Caroline screwing Klaus and now Damon thinking before he did something unbelievably stupid and damaging to them all? What the actual fuck happened while he was gone?

Stefan sat down, elbows on his knees, and rubbed his face with both hands. "He has been obsessed with finding a way to get Bonnie out."

Alaric could feel his anger flare. "What the hell? He already tried that and failed. And now we have bigger problems to deal with." Elena and Caroline stood in protest, Alaric backed away lifting a palm up. "Not that she doesn't matter but Kai is about to slaughter his entire family here, including _Jo_." He looked over at the single Salvatore. "I don't care what he does anymore after what he did, but you're right. We need _everyone_. Get him here, Stefan."

Stefan glared at Alaric. "You think I don't know that? I've been trying but he's being…difficult."

Alaric's fists squeezed in anger. "When the hell is he not, Stefan?" He walked away and sat in the chair in the corner of the room.

* * *

><p>Damon sat at the desk and took a sip of the bourbon from the tumbler in his hand. He flipped through the book he stole from Lucy. His brows furrowed as he bent over the manuscripts. The witchy juju language made no sense to him, but he was determined. Emily taught him some stupid terms, so he wasn't completely helpless in his search. He glared harder at the pulpy, musky pages but the words started to blur together. Anger ripped through him and the glass of bourbon flew at the wall in a burst of crystal and amber.<p>

"God damn it!"

He flipped the desk over, papers and books flying as the dark oak wood slamming on the floor resonated around him. He marched over and snatched the bottle of bourbon off of the lamp side table. Ripping off the cap, he took a big swig and wiped his mouth. He could feel his hands shake with anger and frustration. Vampire emotions were intense but he has never ever been so pissed off before. He dropped to the floor with finality, one arm resting on his knee and the other holding the bottle in his hand. His ice blue eyes scanned the battered library. He missed_ his _library. He missed his home and….damn it all, he missed Bonnie.

He slammed the bottle in his hand down on the floor next to his thigh. Guilt was tearing him apart. He lied. He always lied. But this time, he end up lying to the one person, other than his brother, that saw that he was worth anything. (Elena is currently excluded in this list due to a little _memory_ problem.) And he had left her behind. Again. He leaned his head back, eyes closed and groaned.

_Of course, Judgey would be the one to make me half insane with guilt. It's two of her specialties in one deal. _

He rubbed his face and looked down at the mess he had made. Raising the bottle to his lips he drank the rest of the bourbon with ferocity. When he drank the last drop, he threw the bottle behind him, the crash of glass echoing along the silence.

His eyes stared off in the distance as his mouth twisted, his nose crinkling in contempt. He was going to kill Kai. He burned the last hope of getting her home. Also, did he mention he was a psychopath? Damon's jaw clenched. He was going to rip off Kai's arms and feed them to that mutt Tyler. Right. In. Front. Of. Him. Then he was going to force that blonde witch from the freaky coven to make a second ascendant and send him back to 1994.

_But that fucking barrier._

Damon let out a frustrated huff. He had no witches. _His-mother-should-have-swallowed-him Kai_, took anyone with magic for his creepy family reunion. How the hell was he going to get to him? His mind was spinning and nothing was coming. Damon stumbled back up and glared at all his research that was splayed out on the floor. His eye caught a sheet of paper. It was the Bennett family tree. The family he was supposed to protect. Another wave of guilt swam over him and he was about to drop it when he stared at the cursive penmanship.

_Family._

His eyes widened. That was it. That was how he was going to save Bonnie and kill Kai at the same time. He started grabbing everything he needed.

* * *

><p>Bonnie opened her eyes and looked around. It was night time and she might not have recognized exactly where she was but she knew she was in one of the towns outside of Mystic Falls. Her hands dropped from the steering wheel excitement bubbled from her fingertips, heart fluttering. Exhaustion from the spell seemed so far away. She noticed a couple walking hand in hand across the street.<p>

_Oh my god, people! I'm really back. I did it!_

She grabbed the keys before hopping out of the car and ran to them. They backed up in surprise as she looked at them wide eyed. She held out her hand and asked if she could use their phone. The guy with the sweater around his shoulder nodded and grabbed the phone out of his back pocket. The weight of the iPhone (_wait when did they get bigger?_) landed in her hand and she smiled at him gratefully, tears brimming in her eyes. She ignored their startled looks, hands shaking, as she put in the only cell phone number she knew by heart. Finishing Jeremy's phone number, her thumb hovered over the "Call" button when a rush of wind past her carrying a familiar scent. Her heart stopped and she whipped her head to stare in the direction the blur went.

_Damon!_

A hot flash of joy spiced with adrenaline spiked within her and she shoved the phone back to the stranger without looking back. She ran, laughing, in the wake of his path.

Bonnie caught her breath, leaning on her knees for support, and looked up at the foreign house in front of her. She could hear the voices of her friends shouting over each other. Her head cocked to the side and her grin dropped into a frown.

_What on earth is going on?_

"Bonnie should be here and you fucking know it, Ric!"

Damon's voice vibrated through her and Bonnie cautiously approached the window that was glowing with light. She pressed her body to the outside wall of the house, her curiosity getting the best of her, and listened further.

* * *

><p>Alaric was pissed. Damon used him for his own selfish gains and now he was thinking of the most insane idea that would most likely get Jo killed. <em>Damn him.<em>

Damon wiped the blood off of his chin. He glared at Alaric and dropped the book on the table. He pointed to it and leaned forward.

"This is the only way we can kill Kai and get Bonnie back. I don't get why you are so against this. We can save your girlfriend by killing Kai!"

Alaric snarled. "Their father tried to kill Jo just when you _asked_ him about it. He'll try to do it again once you tell him Kai was back! Are you fucking crazy?"

Damon punched the wall behind him, his eyes never leaving Alaric's.

"Damn it, Ric. Listen to me! We get their Abraham-wannabe father" Damon waved his hands to the side, "to bring down the no-no magic barrier so we all can go after Kai." Damon inched closer to Alaric and moved his hands to the other side. "Then we get Kai, and use him as a bargaining chip to get Bonnie back from that stupid 1994 nightmare so he can send Kai back there. No harm, no fowl. Every. Body. Wins."

Tyler pushed back from the wall and glared at Damon. "That is not even 10% of a plan, Damon. How do we know Kai is even a good enough bargaining chip?"

Caroline and Elena looked at each other and held hands.

Elena cleared her throat. "We don't. But it's something, isn't? We don't have anything else, do we?" She looked around and landed her stare on Alaric. Hope shining in her eyes.

Alaric looked back at Elena. He cringed. He knew Elena wanted her best friend back but this was _not _a good plan.

"We should wait a little-"

Damon growled. "Wait until Kai merges with Jo and becomes an unstoppable douchebag? Without Bonnie we are _nothing_."

Stefan unconsciously hummed in agreement with his elder sibling.

Damon looked back at Stefan with a sarcastic grin and placed his palm on his chest. "Thank you, brother. It warms my heart to have you agree with me."

Stefan snorted a laugh.

Alaric's anger snapped back. He glared at both Salvatore brothers. He shook his heads while running a hand through his hair. He turned around for a second before turning back and grabbing Damon by the shirt and slamming him against the wall. Everyone stood up in shock. Caroline backed up into Stefan, stumbling. Stefan held his hands out to catch her and yelled at Alaric.

Alaric was seething and he punched Damon in the mouth.

"This is not a joke. Jo could fucking die and you guys are acting like we can easily defeat their dad by using the son he _banished_ as bait!"

Damon glared down at him. "It's for Bonnie."

Alaric laughed. "Since when did you care about anyone but yourself?"

Damon's eyes flashed with hurt for a second before hardening into a fierce glare. Alaric was about to raise his fist to punch Damon again when the most amazing sound hit Damon's ears.

"Stay away from him."

Every candle in the house lit up with a _woosh_ as Bonnie walked through the door way, glaring at Alaric.

The silence was deafening as everyone's head whipped to look at her. Bonnie smiled faintly at everyone before landing back to Alaric. The exhaustion of her trip was catching up with her but she took a deep breath.

"I'm serious. Drop him, Alaric."

Alaric's mouth was wide open and it looked at Bonnie to Damon then back to Bonnie again. He raised his hands in the air and backed up.

Damon eyed the witch from her toes to the crown of her head. The heart that shouldn't be beating, felt more alive than it had in almost century and a half. His mouth quirked to the side.

"_Judgey._"

Bonnie smiled back.

"_Demon._"

Damon scoffed at her new nickname for him and squared himself to face Bonnie. He opened up his arms and waited. When nothing happened he stared at her expectantly.

"Come on, don't I get a hug?"

Bonnie raised an eyebrow before breaking into a full grin and running into his arms. She jumped, wrapping her arms around his neck. Damon returned the gesture by positioning his arms around her back. They both laughed as Damon spun her around. He set her down and brushed hair away from her face, grinning as he looked down at her.

"O.K. what the fuck has been going on. I have _got _to be dreaming." Tyler quickly sat down on the chair behind him, eyes wide. He was a little freaked out. He looked back at Damon and Bonnie. Okay, he was a lot freaked out.

Caroline looked at Stefan for answers. Stefan, who was less stunned than everyone else, just smiled back at her and shrugged his shoulders as he shoved his hands in his front pockets. Caroline gave him a look that screamed she would hound him later for details. He was actually looking forward to that. Stefan: 1 Caroline's grudge: 5. Yeah, he had a lot to catching up to do.

Elena looked on with bewilderment until she remembered all the times Damon mentioned Bonnie in the past month. Her eyes softened.

_I knew he kind of loved her. _

Bonnie looked back at Damon with glee. She owed some pretty decent "thank yous" to him and was about to speak until she heard Stefan cough. She turned to face him.

Damon rolled his eyes and glared at his brother.

"What? Can't you see we're having a moment here?"

Stefan smirked and shrugged a shoulder. "I can see that but you do know that other people might want to say hi, right?" Stefan's eyes pointedly rested on Caroline's head.

Bonnie heard Damon scoffed again and she looked up at him, a warning in her eyes.

Damon waved his hands in her direction. "Fine…fine. Moment over." He widened his eyes for emphasis and walked over pour the bourbon he knew Stefan kept in the cabinet for him. He had to force to tone down the extra skip in his step. He had just shown enough mushiness to last his image for a lifetime.

Bonnie looked at her best friends and smiled. Elena and Caroline ran over and held their long lost friend with so much strength, Bonnie feared for her life. For like a second.

"Guys…can't breathe." The girls relinquished their hold on each other and laughed. Tears of happiness running down all their faces.

Alaric scratched his 5 'o clock shadow and looked around. His eyes narrowed in on the candles. His eyes sparked with recognition and he looked back at Bonnie and walked toward her.

"You have your magic back."

Bonnie wiped the tears from her cheek and looked warily at Alaric.

"Yes." She looked back at Caroline and Elena, smiling again. "I'm back. Witch and all."

Damon took a sip of the glass of bourbon and clicked his tongue.

"I think you mean _annoying_ witch and all."

Bonnie rolled her eyes at him and shook her head, her smile spreading wider.

"You just have to ruin every sweet moment don't you?"

Damon looked her straight in the eyes. "Yep." He popped the 'p' happily with a grin and took another sip.

Alaric shook his own head in disbelief. _They _were _friends_? These two? Tyler was right. What the fuck was going on here? He sat down in the other chair and crossed his hand as he leaned his elbows on his knees. His eyes calculating the new information.

"This is good. You can bring down the barrier over Mystic Falls and we can save Jo."

Bonnie sighed. She muttered, "Nothing changes…work…work…work."

Caroline glared at Alaric. She stood in front of Bonnie and crossed her arms. "What the hell, Alaric. Bonnie just got back. From, like, the _dead._ Give her a freaking break!"

Alaric glared. "I get that Caroline but Jo could be dying."

Caroline stomped over to Alaric. "Back off. I know this sucks, but give her a minute before you have her doing anything."

Alaric sat up straighter and stood back up. He pointed a finger at Damon. "That selfish moron let out a mass murderer from a witch prison. That mass murderer is going to kill the woman I'm dating for power over a coven that lets siblings kill each other."

Damon leaned over the back of the couch and put his chin in his hand. He swirled his drink around and then took a sip. "He got out himself," Damon commented.

Alaric whipped his head around to glare at Damon.

Damon shrugged. "What? It's true. He was gone by the time me and Elena got to _the land of pagers and really bad boy bands_."

"Damon," Bonnie warned. They both looked at each other. Silently holding a conversation before Damon muttered out loud.

"Fine. I'll shut up."

Okay, _now_, Stefan was shocked. He never thought he would hear that out of his brother's mouth. He watched the two closely until Caroline and Alaric's argument resumed. He sighed. It was going to be a long night.

Bonnie let out a breath as her favorite blonde argued to let her rest. _Go Team Caroline._

Bonnie rubbed her forehead to ease the migraine. Making her own spell took so much out of her. She walked over to the couch and sat to the right of Damon. She closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath. As she smelled his soap, it finally sunk in that she was back. Her lips quivered as tears threatened fall again. She felt a nudge to her left shoulder and moaned in annoyance.

"What Damon?"

He looked at her and finally observed how worn she was. He was frowning until he noticed exactly what (_who's_) jacket she was wearing. Something deep inside him felt really good to see her in his jacket and his blood hummed with approval. His lips grew into a smirk and he leaned over to her ear.

"Nice jacket."

Bonnie could feel his lips brush the shell of her ear and she shivered a little bit. She rolled her eyes and looked down at the black leather she wore. She moved slightly to look at him better and then grabbed the glass in his hand. Taking a sip, she grinned.

"You can't have it back."

Damon narrowed his eyes in mock contempt.

"Rude."

Bonnie barked out a laugh.

Everyone in the room turned towards her and she adjusted in her seat awkwardly. Caroline made some snarky comment and everyone went back to focus on the task at hand. She took another small gulp before Damon stole it back.

Damon grinned and finished off his glass and went for a refill. Bonnie leaned back and watched her family argue. She thought she would never get back here again. God, did it feel good. She grinned as she watched Stefan and Caroline. Stefan grabbed her arm to keep her from attacking Alaric and Tyler. Caroline looked at him and told him to let go. He shook his head and told her no. The blonde shook her head furiously and went back to tell the two other boys to back off her best friend. Their hands subconsciously intertwined.

_Oh….oh this is good. I was right! _

She could feel Damon reproach his place behind the couch and she smirked.

"You owe me 100 dollars."

Damon's eyes widened and looked down at Bonnie.

"Um, no I don't."

Bonnie leaned down and untied her combat boots and kicked them off. She curled her legs from underneath her and leaned her head on the arm of the white sofa.

"Oh, yes…you do."

He squinted down at his witch and followed her eyes to where his younger brother and Caroline held hands. He snorted. _Ah, that bet._ Damon walked around the couch and planted himself right next to Bonnie, pulling her legs out from under her and laying them on his lap.

Bonnie watched him sit down and it reminded her so much of that video tape, she couldn't help but wiggle her toes at him.

"Rub."

Damon looked at Bonnie with one eyebrow perched. He opened his mouth, sarcastic retort ready to aim and fire, when he looked at her weathered face. The shame and guilt of having to leave her behind inched its way back.

_Damn..._

He sighed dramatically for her benefit and ripped off the purple sock from her left foot and began to rub the appendage with one hand.

Bonnie leaned back and closed her eyes.

_So this is what I was missing out on…_

She let the bickering and the noises of the house drift away. Her body became limp as the minutes passed.

Damon snorted in his drink as Alaric made a poignant observation about Stefan. He dropped the drink from his face as his gaze landed on the girl beside him. She looked peaceful and he was determined to keep it that way for a long time. She had been through too much shit in her young, witchy life. And he owed her so much. His lip popped into a slight smile.

_That doesn't mean the peace has to start at exactly this moment…_

"About that Benjamin I owe you…That's a negative, Judgey."

Bonnie almost groaned at him, but he was rubbing her feet so she should try to be nice. She cracked open an eye at him.

"They're holding hands, Damon."

He nodded his head.

"Yes, but you clearly put too much faith in my brother. They aren't _together_ yet. And I distinctly remember that _dating_ was a part of the bet." He tickled the bottom of her foot for good measure.

Bonnie puffed out a cloud of air in annoyance.

"You don't know that." She dug her free foot into his floating rib and he smacked it away.

"Actually, I do."

She really did groan then. She looked at him with both eyes, challenging him.

"Prove it."

"What?"

"Prove. It. If you are so sure they aren't dating, prove it. If you can," she shrugged her shoulders, "you win the bet."

His eyes grew playful and mischief crept along his face as he smirked again.

"Fine."

"Be my guest, Damon."

"What_. Now?_ Here?"

She grinned and cocked her head to the side.

"Now."

He sighed dramatically again.

"So demanding."

Her eyes sparkled with laughter.

"You have _no idea_."

Damon repressed a shiver at the implication and gripped her foot a little tighter. His eyes got a little hazy and he gave her a lecherous smile.

"Oh?"

She kicked him again and he coughed loudly.

"Ow, you can be such a bitch, witch."

"Only when you're stalling."

He rolled his eyes.

"I am not stalling."

"Yes, you are!"

Damon mock-glared at her again.

"Fine. But don't get mad at me if things get awkward."

Bonnie laughed.

"Been there. Done that."

"True."

"Damon."

"Fine. You win." Damon sat up and looked over to the group who were still at it.

"Yo, Scooby-gang!" Everyone turned to look at them again. "Stefan and Caroline, cheers to the new couple." He gave them a sardonic smile and then Damon raised the glass to his lips to swallow the rest of his drink.

Caroline sputtered and looked down at her hand being held by Stefan. She broke the contact.

"Shut up, Damon," Stefan demanded at the same time Caroline screeched; "We're not dating you creep!"

Alaric shook his head but couldn't help break into a smile briefly before pulling everyone back into the discussion.

Damon gloated by looking back at Bonnie and grinning.

Bonnie's jaw dropped and then laughed at his audacity.

"I…haha…should have known you were…haha…going to do that!"

"Yep." He set down the glass by his feet then pulled off the other sock. He began to rub it with both hands this time.

"Still the asshole."

"Always, Judgey. Always."

Damon put more effort in the massage and looked right into her eyes. A tone of seriousness came over him as her green eyes stared right through him. Like they always did.

"I'm glad your back, Bonnie."

Bonnie smiled and fell back down to the couch. She let the feel of his hands on her feet lull her closer to the edge of a much needed nap.

She whispered. "Me too."

Across the room, Elena watched everything that transpired between the two. She suddenly felt she was losing something important…but she couldn't remember what it was.


	5. Where Do We Go From Here?

**Wow, I do believe this is the most consistent I've been with updating. You lucky ducks. Also, I am lucky because I have you guys. Your reviews are so wonderful. Commenting on the story and giving me love. It always inspires me. :) **

**Anyways, Buffy fans will recognize the two sets of lyrics both in the begining and end of this chapter. I just recently discovered the Buffy Musical Soundtrack was on spotify and I could not stop running this idea in my head because of it. So enjoy my lovelies. **

**Please note: Un'betaness. Mistakes may be present. Also Jeremy was in this as well and the scene is a little awkward. Partly because I don't like him and partly because sometimes, that's how things are. Nothing dramatic, but all awkward.**

**Enjoy and Review! **

**~Whorendous**

* * *

><p>Life's not a song<p>

Life isn't bliss

Life is just this

It's living

You'll get along

The pain that you feel

You only can heal

By living

You have to go on living

The fuzziness of sleep tingled in her back as Bonnie raised her hands above her head. She could feel her muscles untighten as she yawned. She blinked and then looked around. She must have fallen asleep on the couch when the rest of the gang was trying to figure out how to take down Kai. Her toes wiggled around and she looked down to see her purple socks popping out from under the blanket. She sat up slightly and smiled. She got back. She was here and she did it on her own. The contentment was such a breath of fresh air she didn't want to get up. She leaned forward to lean her forehead on the plush back of the sofa.

"She wakes."

Bonnie grinned and looked up to see one of her best friends leaning on the doorway, two cups of coffee in her hands.

"So she does."

Elena's long hair shook in waves as she laughed lightly. The brunette cleared her throat and indicated to one of the cups she held in her hand.

"Damon…made coffee for you." She let out another small laugh and gave Bonnie a look that conveyed how strange the idea of Damon doing anything domestic towards her friend was to her.

Bonnie sat up, and curled her legs underneath her, to make room for Elena. Elena grinned at the invitation and gracefully plopped herself down while handing Bonnie the steaming beverage. She watched as Bonnie relaxed and inhaled the smell, then blew on it to try and cool the liquid down. She fidgeted and placed her own cup on the side table to her left. She wrung her hands as she waited for Bonnie to take her first sip.

Bonnie finally tasted the coffee and shuffled back into the couch with a pleased sigh. She forgot how good Damon's coffee was.

Elena's mouth turned up into a smile as she watched her best friend. She looked around the room and then opened her mouth to speak.

"I made a cup for you, remembering you took it with cream but then Damon remade it before he left with Stefan. Said you liked it this way now." She paused and chuckled. "It was weird."

Bonnie stilled and looked at her friend from behind the mug. A little twinge of guilt plucked at her and she gave out a sigh.

"Yeah, the jerk would never get us cream and I was stuck with just a single cube of sugar." She shrugged her shoulders. "The taste grew on me and here we are." She looked out the window, smiling at the memory.

Elena shifted in her seat and grabbed her cup of coffee to take a sip. It was odd for her to hear Damon or Bonnie talk about their time away. They seemed…so much closer. And different than she remembered. Then again…there was a reason for that. She braced herself, gearing up the courage to tell her when Bonnie startled her with a question of her own.

"Where did Damon go? I would think he would be attached to you at the hip since he got back." Bonnie gave Elena a knowing smile.

Elena's eyes flitted down and laughed uncomfortably. "Yeah…about that."

Bonnie frowned at the change in Elena's demeanor and set her cup down on the ground. Sitting back up, she scooted toward Elena and placed a hand on her arm.

"What's wrong?"

Elena look up and opened her mouth to say something and closed it again. Bonnie watched her friend squirm around. She was so confused. The two were inseparable and she knew firsthand how much the older Salvatore loved Elena. Four whole months of hearing him talk about her was more than enough proof. Too much, in her opinion. She narrowed her eyes at Elena.

"What did he do? Either way, the guy loves you, no matter how many boneheaded mistakes he makes."

Elena observed her friend and looked her in the eyes. A few months ago she would have sworn Bonnie would have come to the same Damon blame game, but would never had defended him. It was then that she realized exactly how close Damon and Bonnie were now. The time they had spent seemed to have made Bonnie see Damon as a friend. Someone Bonnie cared enough to defend him against Elena while he cared enough to ruin his friendship with Alaric to get her back. That was a huge step in a direction she never saw Bonnie and Damon's relationship to go in. She sighed and closed her eyes.

"Elena."

Elena opened one eye and rested her guilty gaze on Bonnie.

"I forgot him."

"What? What do you mean you forgot him?" A pause, "Oh, you tried to move on, I can understand that. You shouldn't feel guilty. You thought we were dea-"

"No. I mean…" Elena stood abruptly, setting the coffee cup on the table with at sharp dink. She had a strange feeling now that Bonnie might not understand. But she was her best friend. She had to try. Elena turned around and looked Bonnie straight in the eye and took a deep shaky breath.

"I, apparently, had Alaric compel me to forget falling in love with Damon. I don't remember anything about us being together."

Bonnie's eyes grew wide as saucers and her mouth parted slightly.

"You did _what_?"

Elena began to pace back and forth. Trying to explain to Bonnie how she discovered what she did and how it couldn't be unbroken now that Alaric was transformed back to being human.

Bonnie's stomach dropped as she watched Elena burn a hole in the carpet. Her brain was trying to keep up with what Elena was telling her but she could not stop focusing on the fact that she willingly forgot Damon, the love of her life. _Poor Damon…_Bonnie realized Damon had, after all his work of getting the girl he loved, became second choice again. And that Elena chose the easy way out of things once more. She rubbed her face and a cloud of anger just swirled around her.

"Shut up, Elena."

Elena halted and turned to look at Bonnie. She backed up as she saw the burning glare that Bonnie shot at her. If she had a beating heart, it would be racing. She licked her lips in anticipation of the fight she could feel building up. She wasn't disappointed.

"How could you do that?" Bonnie shook her head. "Never mind. I already know." She stood up and took a step toward her best friend.

"You ran away from the pain. Again. You always freaking do this, Elena!" She put out a hand to stop Elena from speaking. "No. You're going to hear me out this time. I'm sick and tired of seeing you pull the same shit over and over." She her hands on her hips and Elena was briefly reminded of her mother.

"Ever since your parents died, you have been extra sensitive to pain. And both me and Caroline, understood that, so we let it go. But it is getting old. And honestly, it's a stupid thing to do. Life is pain, Elena. It is what makes us human. You take what life gives you and push through the pain. You ran away from losing Damon because you were afraid of how it made you feel and you thought, not for the first time, there was a quick fix."

Bonnie threw her hands up, exasperated. Elena took another step back, stunned at the outburst.

"You are so unbelievable! I had to listen to him prattle on about you for months. Months, Elena. And all he ever wanted to talk about was you. Even when he was losing hope, you were the one fucking thing keeping him together. Normally, I would take your side but…"

Bonnie looked around the room, disbelief all over her face. She pinned Elena with another glare.

Elena glared back. "But you're taking his? Good to see you have a new best friend, Bonnie." She was hurting, it was like Bonnie cared more about Damon than her. Why couldn't she understand?

"I sacrificed myself for him, Elena. He needed you!"

Elena's eyes grew wide at the admission.

Bonnie pointed a finger in Elena's direction. "Elena, you are the only one who can't face pain and loss. Because of your fear, once again, someone else was hurt. You need to get stronger because with the life we lead, I can guarantee this isn't the last of it."

Elena scrunched up her face. "How can you say that? You lost your Grandmother. You know how much it hurts to lose someone! Hell, Damon was the one who did that! And he turned Abby into a vampire. How can you defend him?"

Bonnie nodded her head. "Yes, he did. I'm not condoning his behavior or forgetting it what he did. But you know what, Elena? He feels so much guilt for the shit he pulls, hates himself so much, that it is pointless to hate him. He punishes himself every day." She pointed to her chest with precision. "I've seen it. As for me, I never shied away from reality. I never ran from the pain of sitting at the kitchen table and how it felt to not see Grams making me breakfast. How raw I felt not having her to guide me with my magic. I buckled down and pushed through it. In fact, Caroline did the same! She lost her father, watched him die right in front of her and still didn't break down. Hell, she lost Stefan and she never once flipped her switch. Unlike someone I know." Bonnie crossed her arms and looked at Elena expectantly.

"That's not fair. I lost Jeremy. He was the last piece of our family I had! Unlike me, Caroline still had her Mom!"

"Oh for Christ's sake!" Bonne made a wide gesture with her arms again. "Caroline is in love with Stefan! She didn't freaking have her memories erased of him did she? No. She fought hard to bring him back."

Elena looked back at Bonnie with a hard look. "Yeah, and look where that got you."

Bonnie scoffed and then walked over to the couch. She sat down and started putting on her boots.

"I love you but you run from anything that causes you pain, Elena. Caring for people means pain. Living, **especially for our group for some effed up reason,** means dealing with that pain. Until you realize this, I'm not ready to deal with _you._" She finished lacing up her boots and stood up. She brushed away her hair and looked steadily into Elena's glare.

"You have no idea how much you hurt him. While I'm gone, think on this: What would you do if Caroline and I purposely forgot all 15 years' worth of memories of you?"

And with that Bonnie stood up and stomped out of the house.

Elena's body went limp and she dropped to the floor. She flinched when she heard Bonnie slam the front door.

_What had just happened?_

It took twenty minutes for Bonnie to reach the Camaro. She yanked open the door and sat down. After she shoved the keys in the ignition, she placed her hands on her temples. Taking a deep breath she leaned back and tried to push away the angry tears that were staring to fill her vision. She leaned over and turned the keys. She had no idea where to go but she knew that somewhere Damon was putting up a snarky front. Deflecting his feelings to focus all his rage on killing Kai. She was actually eager to do the same. God, did four months actually help her understand him this much? The prick.

She changed the gear and drove off in the direction she saw people coming from with groceries. She had to go get some supplies for what she had in mind.

Bonnie parked Damon's car and locked it. Walking into the store she grabbed a red hand basket and made her way to the alcohol aisle. She snatched up all of Damon's favorite brands of Bourbon and placed it in the basket. Walking away toward the checkout lines she noticed the baking aisle. She clicked her jaw contemplatively until she finally moved her way over the pancake mix. Placing all the things she needed, she walked back to checkout when she noticed the whipped cream cans. She rolled her eyes and grinned. She snatched one of those too. Stockholm syndrome. She'll blame all of this on Stockholm syndrome.

It wasn't until all her items were on the conveyor belt that she forgot she had no money. Time spent shoplifting in an empty grocery, in a time loop no less, really made her forget the normalcies of living in the present. She laughed and went to grab the basket back when she heard a name call her from behind. She whipped around and there was Jeremy. Her heart raced. She was not prepared for this.

Jeremy walked forward slowly, afraid she was an illusion. He touched her face and then yanked it back quickly. He looked at her sheepishly.

"Sorry."

Her gaze softened and she shook her head smiling at him.

"It's okay. How are you?"

He put his hands in his pockets, eyeing her groceries.

"Um, good. Kinda. What is with the pancakes? I thought you hated those things."

Bonnie jumped and looked at the conveyor belt. She chuckled.

"Not exactly."

Jeremy gave her a questioning look. She waved it off.

"I can't buy it anyways. Since I came back, I'm a little short on money…and ID…"

Jeremy laughed lightly.

"Here, I'll take care of it."

She panicked. "No, Jer, don't worry about it. I'll just come back and buy them later."

He shook his head. "It's the least I could do since I didn't exactly believe you would be coming back."

There was something behind those words, she could tell, but Bonnie went to protest again. He pushed past her and pulled out his wallet. She watched as he paid for everything, including the booze. She eyed the fake I.D. but didn't say anything. Gathering the groceries, she walked out, Jeremy trailing behind him. She reached the car and went to the driver's side to unlock it.

"Woah, I thought Damon crashed this."

Bonnie chuckled.

"Yeah, I got this one from another lifetime." She pat the top of the trunk lovingly. She looked back at Jeremy and grinned but it quickly fell. Jeremy looked at her with a serious expression. Her heart began to pound again and she willed it under control. She had a feeling she knew what was happening. He was breaking up with her.

Jeremy shuffled his feet and looked over Bonnie's head. He just blurted it out.

"Bonnie. I'm glad you're back. I am. But…I can't date someone who frequently leaves me behind. I'm sorry."

She felt the tears building behind her eyes, throat tight. She just nodded.

"Yeah, I understand, Jer."

Jeremy went to hug her but held back. _Well, that is awkward._

"Um, see you soon? Elena said we might have a plan to get back Matt and something about killing a murderous warlock?"

She nodded again.

"Yeah. Sure. See ya."

"Bye. Enjoy your pancakes."

Bonnie gave him a small smile then watched him walk away. She leaned against the car and zippered up Damon's jacket. She knew that was going to happen. But she didn't know she would have to confront it so soon. Her body quivered and she could hardly stand. Swallowing with difficultly, she made her way back to the driver's side and opened the door. Sliding back into the leather seats she started up the car and made her way through the parking lot. Hoping to god that Elena would be back at the dorm and not at the house when she returned.

Damon walked into the house from the rear entrance. Instantly, the smell of pancakes assaulted his nose and he blinked in surprise. He took another sniff and smirked as he recognized the magical scent of a witch in his house. A particular witch to be exact.

He swaggered his way into the kitchen and faulted at the door way. He watched with amusement, as Bonnie danced around the kitchen, pouring batter into the skillet. He quirked a fine eyebrow as she started to sing with the music. He had to admit, she was a good dancer. _Very good._

"_A scrub's checkin' me. But his game's kinda weak_. _And I know he cannot approach me._"

She flipped some of the older pancakes. Then twirled around and moved over to the fridge. She opened it up and leaned over, moving her hips to TLC's No Scrubs that was blaring from the radio. She grabbed the whipped cream can as Damon whistled.

"Daddy likes."

Bonnie jumped and hit her head on the top of the fridge with a deep thud.

"Ow. Damn it, Damon!"

Damon frowned and moved quickly toward her. Grabbing the wrist of her free hand, he pulled her close and pushed her head down to check for any bumps. He sighed with relief.

"You're fine."

Bonnie breathed in his scent. She looked up at him, enjoying his thumb trace the smooth skin of the underside of her wrist. She glared up at him.

"Yes, no thanks to you."

Damon rolled his eyes then glanced around the kitchen. He smirked and looked back at her.

"Missed my cooking that much?"

She scoffed.

"As if. This is for you. I still hate pancakes, you know."

He gave her a quizzical look and moved around the kitchen's island and sat on a stool. He crossed his arms on the island's countertop and leaned forward. He eyed her carefully, taking note the absence of his leather jacket. A twinge of disappointed flared. She looked good in his clothes. He cleared his throat.

"Okay, I know we're all buddy-buddy now but you being so nice is starting to creep me out. What are you up to, little witch?"

Bonnie inhaled sharply and counted to ten. She was here to be nice. To comfort him. She looked at him sternly.

"You need this. To be honest, I think I need it too."

Damon looked at her with his ice blue eyes and she stared back. There was something about his eyes that made her just…stare. It always made funny things happen to her insides and she was always set off kilter because of it. It was infuriating and very helpful fueling their arguments. Especially in the beginning. But this time it sparked something else, something primal and her breath was caught. She bit her lip and shook her head.

"Hand me that plate." She ordered while she shoveled the spatula underneath a finished pancake.

Damon handed her the plate and watched her plate the food curiously. He had been with this witch for months and he still didn't have her completely figured out. The fact that she even accepted him as a friend now, still confused him. But he was grateful for it. He didn't see it until now, but he always wanted her to accept him.

"Eat."

He looked down at the food she set in front of him and made a hum of amusement. There was a smiley face with vamp teeth looking back at him. Warmth filled him and he set his gaze on the witch positioning herself on the stool to his right. Contentment washed over him and he smiled.

"Bon Appetit."

Bonnie smiled back at him.

"Enjoy, Damon."

They finished the meal and made their way to the living room from last night. Bonnie observed the day's light falling into the darkness of night and she rubbed the back of her neck.

"Woah, what the hell? Where did all this come from?" He searched through the liquor cabinet with excitement.

Bonnie secretly smiled as she looked at the fireplace. She walked over and grabbed some extra logs and dropped them in.

"_Incendia._"

"Using those powers for personal use, I see."

Bonnie chuckled and followed Damon to the couch. She plopped down next to him and watched him pour two glasses out.

"This is one of your favorites right?"

Damon finished the pour and set down the bottle. He narrowed his eyes at her as he handed her a glass.

She took a huge gulp and grimaced at the burning of her throat. Trying to hide her smile she watched the fire.

Damon's eyebrows furrowed and took a sip with her.

"I'm glad you like it."

He looked back at her and it dawned on him. "Pancakes and now bourbon? Okay, Judgey, what is going on? Am I doomed to die again or something?"

She let her smile falter a little.

"Probably." It was a bad joke. They both knew it.

He narrowed his eyes further and nudged her. "Seriously, what is all this for."

Bonnie sighed and looked at him with her green eyes swirling with emotion.

"I know what Elena did, Damon. I…did this because I know how much it sucks to be forgotten. Granted this is worse than anything my father did but…still. What she did was stupid and you are the only one getting hurt for this. I'm here for you, Damon." She saw his eyes open wide and flare with indignity and she quickly added, "No pity. Promise. I just…empathize." She impulsively lifted a hand to his hair and brushed away a stray lock. She looked back into his eyes and smiled grimly.

"I'm here for you."

Damon felt a dozen things at once. First anger which then quickly melted into shame and embarrassment. As he looked into her eyes, he felt her kindness and warmth wrap around him like a blanket. The amount of gratitude he felt for her was overwhelming and it quickly gave way to admiration and affection. No one ever thought about what he was going through with Elena. Not like this. He raised his free hand and gently clasped the one that was running through his hair. He brought the hand to his lips, never loosing eye contact.

"Thank you."

She inhaled sharply and watched with fascination as he tucked her hand to his chest and leaned back to the couch. She turned her head and watched the flames. It was oddly peaceful.

"So how did it all go down?"

Bonnie cringed. "I may have…bitched slapped her." His head whipped so fast to look at her, she swore she heard his neck crack.

"Seriously?"

Bonnie shook her head. "More metaphorically speaking. But I kind of blew up at her. She had a lot of it coming though." She peeled her eyes away from the fire to look at him. "She can't keep pulling stunts like that. Skipping out on emotions isn't good for her." She took another gulp and smacked her lips. "Or for anyone who gives a damn about her. I love her so much and always will. But she needs some tough love right now."

Damon shook his head in surprise. "A girl fight over lil' old me." He attempted to grin at her. "I do hope mud wrestling was involved." She tried to smack him but he held her hand tight and she wasn't putting down the booze just yet. No way.

Bonnie sighed and laughed lightly.

"You're incorrigible."

He playfully winked and then paused. "And you really know every word in the English dictionary." He tilted his head at her and smirked. "You read it when you were a kid, didn't you?"

Bonnie froze, the glass touching her lips. She could feel herself blush. She was easily bored when her father was gone. Reading the dictionary was a habit. Not her fault.

"You did, didn't you? Hah, you're blushing."

She looked at him sharply after setting down her cup on the side table. "How can you tell?" She smirked. "I'm not exactly pale."

He hummed in satisfaction. "I can tell when the blood rushes up to your face. And your scent changes."

Bonnie looked at him aghast. "You can smell the change in my scent? What the hell does that mean?"

Damon smirked. Did she really want him to explain this? Did he? He shrugged. Why not? It could be fun. Plus making her blush was exciting. So was making her angry. Old dog, but no new tricks. He turned and looked at her with mock-seriousness.

"Well, Bon-Bon, as you know vampires have a keen sense of smell. We can smell all sorts of emotions. Witches' scents tend to be naturally stronger with their feelings, most likely due to their magical witchiness."

She squinted at him with disapproval. He smirked wider. "So I can tell when you're angry, sad, and afraid." He took a deep breath and leaned over so he was only a breath away from her face.

"And when you're on your period."

Bonnie's eyes widened, horrified she pushed him away. "What?!"

He held in his laughter. Her face was priceless. She glared at him and yanked her hand from him and smacked him on the head.

"Ow, witchy. Not nice."

She was shaking with embarrassment. He could smell her on her period? Which meant….She groaned. That's why he was always super nice to her during those days back in 1994. He knew he had to tread lightly.

"You are a bastard, Damon."

"You flatter me."

She sighed and shivered. She was a little grossed out and she eyed him warily.

"You disgust me."

He blew her a kiss.

"You love me."

"Ugh, you wish."

"Don't I?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her and licked his lips comically. She couldn't help it, she laughed. She guzzled down the rest of her drink to distract her. The alcohol tickled down her limbs and she knew she was starting to feel the kick.

Damon watched her with keen amusement. He poured them both more bourbon as he contemplated. He didn't dare tell her that her witch blood was…magnetic and whenever he was around her on those special days, he had to try very hard to ignore the pull of hunger and admittedly, lust. So he tried to never work her up in a tizzy during special days, because honestly, from the very beginning of their…er…relationship, getting her angry was such a turn on. Like now.

He took a sip and saw that she was frowning. Turn off.

"What's going on in that judgey little head of yours?"

Bonnie sighed and looked into her glass. "I met Jeremy while I was at the supermarket. It was…awkward. Then he let me know he wanted to break up with me." She took another gulp.

Damon almost broke his glass. _That stupid little… _He looked at her and realized he was relieved. He never liked them together, he guessed. He smiled down at her.

"Good. You were too hot for him anyways."

Bonnie smiled despite the tears building up and looked at him.

"Yeah…"

The pain in her eyes was clear and it was hard for him not to run and attack the little shit. Damon pushed away his anger and swallowed hard. He brought his free hand the cup around her head and brought her head to his shoulder and then dropped the arm to her shoulder. He started rubbing her back as she began to sob in his arms.

Bonnie cried her heart out as she clung to him, her hand fisted in his black t-shirt. She could not believe he was letting her do this but she was so happy to not go through this alone. This was the only night she was going to let herself cry about this, because she did not have the time to dwell. Not with Kai out there. Not when she has already made the decision to put herself first from now on. She deserved better than to mourn something she couldn't change.

When he felt her calming down finally, he moved his shoulder to prompt her to sit up. He wiped away the last tear from her cheek and quirked the side of his mouth into a smile.

"Good?"

She leaned her head into his hand slightly and looked at him, her thank you brightly shining in her eyes. He look back at her stunned. He could smell the trust and gratitude fly off of her in waves. He realized not even Elena had a hard time showing him this side.

"Yeah, I'm good." She blinked slowly and then the spell was gone. She stood up and drank the rest of her drink and slammed the glass down. She looked back at him with a mischievous smile. One he normally saw before she set him on fire. He narrowed his eyes at her.

"What are you up to?"

She smiled at him and he watched that smile with very little trust.

"Bonnie."

She flitted away from him to the chair on the other side of the room. He watched her pick up his jacket and put it on. His eyes lit up with approval. What the shit? What was it about this tiny thing and wearing that coat? And why did he like it so much? His thoughts froze as she grabbed his free hand and tried to pull him up.

"Woah…woah there, Bon-Bon. You are such a bossy drunk." He set his drink on the floor and voluntarily got up. As soon as he did he felt himself be pulled toward the front door. His brows furrowed.

"Where are we going?"

She shook her head and laughed.

"It's a surprise." She looked back at him and almost ran into the wall but he made sure to steer her away from it. He could tell her walk was sloppy and it was really funny to see her drunk.

She stopped right in front of the front door and turned around to him completely.

"Close your eyes."

He briefly remembered that smile and instantly said, "No."

She stomped her foot and sighed.

"Damon. Please? It's nothing bad."

He hated her then. Because that look she was giving him, reminded him of a child asking for a cookie and damn it. He may be a bastard but he could not say no to that. He was quickly regretting becoming friends with this woman.

He covered his eyes with his hand.

"Okay, now what," he said impatiently. He could hear her giggle as she opened the door. He let her tug him along, even though he knew where he was going. Once he was fully outside, Bonnie finally told him to open his eyes. And when he did, the wind was knocked out of him. There, in all its glory, was his 1969 Chevy Camaro Convertible. He walked over to it, as if he was in a dream. He looked at Bonnie then back at the car, then back at her again.

"Are you kidding me right now?" He opened the driver's door, eyes burning with excitement, and sat down. Bonnie jumped up, her smile so big she thought her face would tear. She had been waiting all day to show him this.

"So…you like?"

Damon popped his head out of her car to look at her.

"I love."

She bit her lip and looked at her shoes. Trying to hide the grin that eventually broke.

"How?"

She walked over and leaned on the car door with her elbow.

"Magic."

He shook his head at her, shock still blinding him. He looked at her with a persistent glare. She rolled her eyes at him.

"Okay…Okay. For the spell I made-"

His eyes widened.

"A spell you _made_? Jesus Christ, Bonnie, that's dangerous. Even Emily had a hard time performing spells she created. She only did it twice."

Bonnie shrugged. "I wanted to get home Damon. I needed to get home." She raised her gaze to his and he nodded his head in understanding. Suddenly, he felt incredibly guilty.

"I'm sorry."

Her mouth dropped. Damon Salvatore did not do apologies. "For what?"

He sighed and gripped the steering wheel, making his knuckled whiter than normal.

"I didn't get you out. I left you even once. But twice." The absolute anguish she saw play over his face made Bonnie's knees buckle and she moved over to him. Kneeling in front of him she stole one of his left hand from the steering wheel and placed it in her grip.

"Damon. Look at me."

He closed his eyes.

"Damon." He could feel her other hand caress his cheek. They were being more intimate with each other tonight than they had ever been before and it oddly did not feel strange. He wondered why but then he felt her tug on his arm and he looked down at her smiling face.

"I think I was always meant to get myself out. I had to put myself first, something I've never done. And it was the most freeing experience I have ever been through. So believe me when I say this, vampire." She grinned at him and he snorted in response. "I don't blame you. I never blamed you. And I am proud of how it went down. I needed it. I am much better off now."

And Damon believed her.

"Also, this is a thank you."

Damon cocked his head at her and quirked an eyebrow.

She smirked at him slyly. "If it wasn't for your video journal, I don't think I would have had courage to do it."

His eyes widened in shock and then he groaned. His reputation was ruined forever. He let his head hit the steering wheel with a thud, as her laughter burned his ears. Then a thought occurred to him. He placed that evil camera in his bed. Under his pillow. _In his bed, on his side._ He sat up with a start, a smirk slowly creeping on to his face. He looked at her and leaned down where his nose was touching hers.

Bonnie's breathing became short and shallow. What on earth was he doing? God, either it was the bourbon or his smirk was really that hot…but damn it all Bonnie was turned on. She licked her lips as his ice eyes traveled around her face.

He leaned back, analyzing her, and tapped her nose.

"Someone slept in my bed."

Bonnie's eyes shifted.

"What? No…did not."

Damon's smirk grew wider.

"Yes, you did. You little minx." He lifted her chin, forcing her to look straight at him.

"So what did you wear?"

Bonnie was startled by the question.

"Excuse me?"

"What. Did. You. Wear? I mean, I don't have woman pajamas just lying around in my room."

Bonnie glared at him, pissed for him making her uncomfortable. But she was drunk, so she did the mature thing and stuck her tongue at him.

"Not telling you."

She got up and stomped her way back to the house.

_Damn him…_

Damon could feel arousal unfurl within him as he imagined Bonnie in his bed. Finding comfort in the place he slept. And he thought his jacket was bad…He got out of the car, closing the door. He ran in a blur to the front door before Bonnie could make it. He leaned in the door way, his pale arms crossed over each other, and stared her down.

Bonnie was feeling like she was being hunted. She was angry at herself for liking it.

"Ugh, move Damon."

"Hmm….let me think. No." He wiggled his eyebrows at her. "Tell me what you wore as you slept in my bed, then maybe we can talk."

Bonnie wanted to claw his eyes out. She could see him visualizing it. The pervert.

"Nothing. I…I mean none of your business."

Damon raised his eyebrows. Manly pride oozed out of him and Bonnie rolled her eyes. Did he really think that she would sleep in his bed, of all beds, naked? She sighed, she was tired and she wanted to sleep.

"I wore one of your shirts and panties. Happy now?" She didn't even know why this was so important to him!

Damon's imagination was running a mile a minute. The picture of her sleeping in one of his shirts and panties made his body react in a very unexpected way. A very sexual way.

"Ugh, stop imagining it. I can see you doing it." She tried to push him aside to get into the house but he stopped her. The second lecherous grin of the night hit her and she narrowed her eyes up at him.

There was the anger. Now, he was getting excited.

A moment passed and Bonnie became agitated. She imagined popcorn popping and the effect was instantaneous.

Damon clutched his head in pain. Pain he didn't expect to feel again. She pushed past him and went back to the living room, yelling at him behind her.

"I'm going to bed, you pervert. Unless you want another aneurism, you should too."

Her magic expelled quickly and he watched her sneak off into the living room. Oh, it was sick. Downright sick. That stunt she pulled had made him even more turned on.

Jesus Christ, it had to be the booze. He turned and walked up stairs. It had to be. They were just friends. Weren't they? After all…he had Elena. Right?

_Why is the path unclear,_

_When we know home is near._

_Understand we'll go hand in hand,_

_But we'll walk alone in fear. (Tell me)_

_Tell me where do we go from here._


	6. Wayward Daughter

**Hello lovelies, **

**Thank you so much for all the love. I want to apologize for my previous chapter, as when I reread it, realized I made a huge booboo and wrote Lucy instead of Abby. I am a moron and humbly ask for your apology. It is fixed now. **

**I know I say this everytime, but I truly appreciate the reviews. I had such a hard time writing this chapter. So I went and re-read all your reviews and it really made me push on and finish it. :) **

**So, I, from the bottom of my heart thank you all. **

**I got the idea of this chapter from thinking about human emotions and how we always think we've moved on, when something brings us back and the feelings bite us in the ass. I always thought that Bonnie's feelings about being left in 1994 would not hit her until everything had settled and she didn't have anything left to distract her from facing the ugly truth: Her friends always gave up on her. **

**Enjoy and Review!**

**~Whorendous**

* * *

><p><em>Carry on my wayward son<em>

_There'll be peace when you are done_

_Lay your weary head to rest_

_Don't you cry no more_

_**BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.**_

Bonnie flinched, the towel that she was using to gingerly clean the wound on her shoulder fell from her fingers with a plop onto the floor. She winced as her finger grazed the peeled back skin. The chill of the room curled over her exposed skin. She placed the new bandage on it quickly and then walked over to her dresser. Grabbing an oversized sweater she stole from Gram's room when she had died, Bonnie made her way back to her bed.

"Bonnie! Let us in!" The sound of Caroline's voice pierced Bonnie's ears and she covered them, desperately trying to drown out everything around her. Her eyes squeezed tight and she whimpered at the bandage pulling at her tender skin. Her ankles wobbled and she became unbalanced. She reached out to her bed post but it was too late. She collapsed to the ground, the shock of the wooden floor painfully shot up to her thighs. Her mouth unhinged in a quiet scream.

"Please, Bonnie. We know you're going through something and we…we just want to help."

Elena's voice sounded so hurt and yet, the last thing Bonnie wanted to do was open that door. The showdown with Kai was horrific and eye opening. She felt so hollow. The desire to hide from the world and drift away was relentless. The dark shadow that had been following her since she clawed her way back, finally made an encore appearance. And it was being a real **bitch**.

"Go away!" Bonnie groaned and rolled onto the floor. The cool, hard wood was uncomfortable and it made her shoulder itch painfully but it was enough to replace the resentment, anger, and inkiness of abandonment she could feel tearing into her brain. If only a little bit.

She kicked away the first aid kit, the metal scratching along the floor. Ugh! She thought she was over this already! She was feeling _so_ good when she got back. She really was. Bonnie was elated that she could see her misfit family. Not to mention could wear clothes that didn't look like they came out of a freaking thrift shop. Hell, she even got over Jeremy. Granted, his ways of…mourning… had expedited process along. Bonnie was mad as hell that this was happening to her again. For God's sake, Kai was _gone_. They won. She won.

And yet, the ugly cloud of emotions assembled together within her forming a hurricane could not be denied. Bonnie grit her teeth. It was all his fault. Her head thumped onto the floor, her neck too tight and tired to hold it up. She glared at the ceiling and let the memories wash over her.

**Three days ago…**

_Kai gripped Elena by the back of her neck as he grinned at Bonnie. _

"_Oh good, the useless one is here."_

_Bonnie's knuckles turned white as they clenched at her sides. She threw a poisoned smile his way. _

"_Well, you know me Kai. Put someone I care about in danger and…" Flames licked the air around her. She smirked at him. _

_Kai sighed dramatically and tossed Elena away to the side. Elena groaned and Jeremy dragged her back to their end of the field. _

"_Always with the fire. Can't you doing anything unique Bon-Bon?" _

"_Sure, I can. But watching you burn will be just so…satisfying." Her nose crinkled as she smirked and cocked her head to the side._

_Kai screamed as his arm caught on fire and he fell to the ground to put it out. Bonnie could feel Damon's eyes on her as she walked to where Kai had fallen, she turned her head and gave him a reassured smile. She could visibly see the vampire's muscles relax but not enough to be unguarded. _

_Seems like he was determined to be her pit pull in this fight. She frowned. Kai's laughter made her whip her head back into his direction. _

_Kai sat up gleefully, his arm unharmed. He looked down at it and back to Bonnie. He raised the arm, only to wiggle his fingers at Bonnie mockingly._

"_Learned a couple of new tricks while you gone." _

_He stood up, confidence rolling around him. He snapped his fingers like he had just remembered something important. He grabbed an iPhone from his pocket. "Oh yeah, can someone explain this…twitter thing to me?" He walked toward the direction of Caroline, Stefan walking in front of her, when another flash of fire roared in his path. He looked at Bonnie and clicked his tongue. He winced slightly and paused. "I'm a little new to this world but skinny jeans are just really not for men." He squatted a little and adjusted the crotch of his pants then backed away from Caroline and Stefan. "But you know Bon-Bon that is the least of my worries about this world. I mean COME ON, what have you guys done to the Ninja Turtles?!" _

_Bonnie stood absolutely still as she watched him rant. He caught her absolutely off guard with his defense to her flames and she was rushing through all the Grimoire knowledge in her head. She was only supposed to distract him until Jo came back with their coven in tow, but she could feel the tang of bloodlust on her tongue. He attacked her. He attacked Elena. He prevented her from going home. She wanted to kill him and the thought of it…of watching his skin crack and peel under the heat of the fire she could conjure, didn't faze her. She was actually enjoying the thought of killing someone. She cocked her head to the side, still watching him yammer on, and then she came to startling the conclusion: she didn't give one fucking damn. _

_Damon rolled his neck and walked behind Bonnie, his eyes never leaving the little dipshit. He leaned forward, over Bonnie's shoulders and whispered in her ear. _

"_Was he always this annoying?" _

_And just like that, the boiling need to make a flaming shish-kabob started to dwindle. She snorted and looked back at him briefly. _

"_Try to stay focused, Damon."_

_Damon smirked. _

"_Focused? I am focused, Judgey." _

_She scoffed at him._

"_You chasing Elena like a starving dog? That was focus. This is not. Now," she moved her hand to push him back, "go back to your spot. I got this, Damon." _

_Damon's lips rolled in and he threw a quick glare at Bonnie's head. _

"_Low blow."_

_Bonnie sighed. Okay, she did feel a little bad about that one. "Sorry."_

_Damon's gaze softened. He went to touch her arm. "Don't even think about dying this time, witch. Kai is a douche but even he isn't douchey enough for that. I'm not leaving you behind again."_

_Bonnie's eyes widened and she turned around, unable to quench the need to see if he really meant it. Damon stared back with a serious but honest expression across his face. _

"_Aw, so the love-hate thing is working for you two? I always wondered if his love for pathetic little Elena would keep this," he waggled his pointer finger between Bonnie and Damon, "from totally happening." Kai's breathe grazed the back of Bonnie's neck, and she could feel his magic burn into her shoulder. She screamed in pain and turned around to glare at him. _

"_Back off Kai." Damon glared at the warlock, pulling Bonnie behind him as he moved into Kai's space._

_Kai raised his hands and backed up about a foot or two. "Can I tell you? This is all very 90210."_

_Bonnie could hear Caroline mumble out to the right, "Ugh…why is this psycho talking about some trashy reboot?!"_

_Kai looked at Caroline with astonishment. "Are you kidding me right now? They remade 90210?" He sighed deeply. "I guess it beats a talking sponge. Which by the way, that show clearly does not understand how physics work. I mean, a fire under water?" _

_Kai jutted out his lip and looked at the sky. _

"_You know, I was alwa-"_

"_Motus." _

_Kai flew across the field like a rag-doll, his back slamming against the rough bark of a tree. _

_Bonnie glared at him as she walked out from behind Damon's back. Power swirled around her and her eyes held the bright flames of hate._

"_Duratus."_

_Kai's eyes widened as he tried to move his limbs but they stayed stuck to the trunk of the tree. He struggled against the ropes of Bonnie's magic, his lungs burning from the exertion of his attempts. _

_Bonnie marched confidently up to the tree. "See, Kai, I learned a few tricks of my own."_

_Kai paused and looked down at her thoughtfully. Then he looked over her head to her companions who laid in wait. Looking back at Bonnie, a grin slowly creeping onto his face. _

"_Did they even fight for you?"_

_Bonnie's heart stopped but she kept her face neutral. She raised her chin and crossed her arms. _

"_Excuse me?" _

_Kai chuckled. _

"_They didn't, did they? I had some one on one time with dearest Elena, after I drained some of her Doppelgänger blood of course." He sniffed and twitched his nose, getting comfortable. _

"_Did you know that your "bestie" over there didn't think once to get you back? In fact, she told me she didn't want to try until Damon did." _

_Bonnie forced her breathing to stay steady. She prayed that Jo would come soon or else she wouldn't be able to hold off killing him for much longer. _

_Kai smirked. _

"_You know…I watched them. Elena was kinda half-assing the whole rescue thing, if you ask me. She would just sigh and look at Damon," his voice pitched high mocking a girl's voice "Oh my god, he is just so cute trying to get my best friend back. We should go on a date tonight. Thai or Mexican?" Kai clicked his tongue again, voice returning to normal. "Does that sound like a best friend to you?" _

_Bonnie's eyes narrowed and she whispered another incantation and a sharp branch of a nearby tree flew into her hands. She looked at him straight in the eyes as she stabbed him in the stomach. _

_Kai yelled in pain, biting down so hard drool was falling out. _

"_Sounds like pain to me." Bonnie smiled, admiring her work._

_Kai sucked in a breath and glared._

"_Don't you get it? None of them wanted you back, Bonnie. You were the farthest from their minds. So, why the hell do you fight for them?" _

_Bonnie was stunned into silence. It couldn't be true, could it? She looked back at her friends, her eyes jumping from one to the other. She looked back at Kai, her mouth firmly set in a straight line. _

"_You do not get to judge my family, when you tried to kill yours." _

_Coughing up blood, Kai still managed to laugh. _

"_Didn't you ever wonder why no one tried to go back for you? Why you had to get back by yourself? Because they didn't care enough to get you back. And yet here you are, fighting to keep them alive. I bet you do this for them a lot." He tilted his head. "You seem like the abused puppy type." _

_Bonnie could feel her knuckles pop at the amount of force she was clenching them with._

"_You think I'm doing this for them?" She shook her head and ripped out the makeshift poker from his body with flourish. She watched in fascination as his blood cascaded down, falling over her hand. Her green eyes flitted back to his, sharp and clear. _

"_This is for me." _

_Kai's screams could be heard by the approaching coven as Bonnie repeatedly stabbed him over and over. Tears falling down her face. _

Bonnie shut her eyes tight, forcing back the tears. A sob escaped her. What has she turned into? Why did no one come for her? Why was she all alone in this?

She gingerly stood up and moved to the bathroom. A shower. She felt so dirty.

"Bonnie please!"

Damon frowned as he heard Elena's voice from within Bonnie's house. After Kai had sucked away the Traveler's spell, they were all able to go their homes. Bonnie refused to go to her father's house and decided to remain at her Gram's. Damon helped her move her stuff in there from the dorm. That was two days ago. He hadn't heard from her since and because the witch still didn't have a new cell phone for him to blow up with text messages, he decided to visit. Apparently, he wasn't the only one.

He walked into the foyer and went up the stairs to Bonnie's room. There he witnessed two hysterical baby-vamps knocking furiously on the door. He strutted behind them.

"What is going on?"

Caroline turned around and glared at him.

"Why do you care?"

Damon glared back.

"Because I do, Barbie. Now tell me what the fuck is going on to make you pound her door in?"

Elena turned around and looked him, tears brimming in her eyes.

"Bonnie won't come out. She refuses to talk to us. She's acting so different, Damon." Elena and Caroline looked at each other before looking at Damon again.

"We don't know what to do. She's never shut us out like this before." Caroline spoke up somberly.

Damon rubbed his face, trying to starve off the lecture he had been bottling up inside for a while now. He crossed his armed and looked down at them, his hard stare unsettling.

"She also has never been stuck in a frozen crappy bubble of the 90's. Or almost stabbed someone to death. Jesus, what the hell do you think is going on with her?! She's freaking out."

Both Elena and Caroline looked down at the floor biting their lips.

Damon shook his head.

"Get out. I'll take care of this." He pushed them out of the way.

Elena grabbed his arm. "Damon."

He looked down at her hand and back to her. He peeled her hand away and pushed her back. Shaking his head gently.

Caroline could feel her anger snap. "What makes you think you can take care of her? She doesn't even like you."

_Why does everyone say that?_ Damon's jaw clicked and he looked up at the ceiling, praying for patience. He twirled around and looked at Caroline.

"I am the only fucking person who knows what she is going through right now. I was there too, or did you forget, Barbie? And not to throw this out there or anything, but" he pointed to his chest "I'm the only one who worked my ass off to get her home."

"That's not fair. You didn't tell us she was alive!" Elena looked at him with contempt.

Damon groaned. "I didn't know until I found her bear!"

Caroline stomped her foot and waved her arms in the air. "Damn it, she got home herself! Don't act so high and mighty."

Damon switch his eyes to her mockingly and sneered lightly. "Exactly. Why do you think she doesn't want to see you?"

Both girls' eyes widened in realization. Silence fell around them. Suffocating guilt thickening the atmosphere.

Damon sighed and he put his hand on Elena's should. "Look. I am the only one here who can get away with this. I'm probably the only one who can understand. You need to walk away."

Elena nodded, her throat thick with emotion. Caroline closed her eyes and sighed. When she reopened them, she looked at him square in the eye.

"If you hurt her Damon, so help me. I don't care if it hurts Stefan, I will stake you myself." Caroline grabbed Elena's arm and dragged her down the stairs.

Damon let out a breath. He mumbled, "Wouldn't expect anything less." He turned around and narrowed his eyes in concentration on the door. Moving back he raised one booted foot and pulled a front ball kick.

The door fell away with a crash and he waved around the dust. He stepped in the room and looked around. He saw a bloodied shirt on the bedspread and his eyebrows furrowed in worry. His ears twitched when he heard the distinct sound of the shower turning on. He'll have to wait. Moved further in the room and sat on her bed. He stared at the bloodstained shirt and his fingers hovered over it. He should have protected her.

_He was on edge. Kai had a lot of power now. The Traveler's dome of doom was a big spell, he was sure. Which meant Kai had a lot of juice on his side. _

_His eyes scanned Bonnie's body. Would she be able to handle it? He shook his head when she smiled at him over her shoulder. Of course she would. His witch was a fucking Bennett. _

_He looked at Bonnie again and noticed her shoulders shaking. The smell of fury overwhelmed her normal scent and it worried him. She was only supposed to distract Kai until Jo's stupid coven came. So he needed to distract _her_ before she did something very stupid. He made his way over to her._

Damon sighed. Kai, that little shit-stain. He deserved so much more than what Bonnie had done. He sat up straighter when he heard a whimper come from bathroom. He waited to hear it again and when it didn't come, he relaxed a little bit. He looked at the picture of Bonnie's grandma on the side table. He silently apologized to Sheila for not protecting her grand baby.

_Damon watched in shock, along with everyone else, as Bonnie stabbed Kai with the tree branch. _

"_Bonnie!" Both Elena and Caroline screamed. Damon noticed Jeremy and Stefan held them back out of the corner of his eye. Satisfied they couldn't do anything retarded, he reared his gaze back to the witch. _

_Damon's eyes narrowed as he caught wind of some of the shit Kai was spewing. _

"**Didn't you ever wonder why no one tried to go back for you? Why you had to get back by yourself?**_"_

_Damon was pissed. The fucking twerp was trying to mentally fuck with his witch. He made a move to pull Bonnie back when she ripped the branch from Kai's stomach. Only to stab him again. The anger left Damon in a whoosh. And when he smelled the sharp crisp smell of her tears, it finally dawned on him. He forced himself to hold back, hands at his sides, ever watchful. _

_He saw Elena and Caroline struggle to get to her. He threw out an arm to signal to them to halt, barking out "Stop." They looked at him curiously._

"_She needs this." He whispered softly. His eyes watched her and he wondered if he could bring her back from this. For the first time, he doubted he could. _

"_It won't be over until she does this." _

Damon closed his eyes in guilt. If only he rescued her, she wouldn't be in this mess. Kai wouldn't have gotten to her like he had. He punched the pillow on the headboard and he made to lay down when a choked cry froze him in his tracks. His heart dropped in his chest and he flashed to the bathroom door.

"Bonnie?"

He cringed waiting for Bonnie to yell at him for privacy. When she didn't he frowned. Making a decision he wrenched open the bathroom door.

"Witchy, I'm coming in, so don't get mad at me it's your fau-" His voice died in his throat when he saw Bonnie curled up on the tiled floor of the shower. She was naked and her sobs were so wretched that her body was shaking uncontrollably.

Shit. It was worse than he had thought.

Damon sighed and threw off his jacket. His shoes patted softly on the tile of the bathroom floor as he walked over to the shower. He yanked open the glass door and stared down at her.

She looked up at him, her eyes so broken and painful, his throat closed up at the sight of it.

"Damon." Her voice croaked. She whined and looked down. "What is happening to me? Why did no one come for me?"

Damon swallowed hard and walked into the shower, closing the door behind him. The water fell on him, soaking though his clothes. He kept his eyes on her as he kneeled down and put his hand on her cheek. He held back some of her hair with his other hand so she could see him. She blinked back at him slowly.

"I got you. It's okay. I got you." He repeated this as he sat down next to her, leaning his back against the shower wall. He pulled her up onto his lap, holding her tight. A hand gripping the side of her head and the other on top of one of her knees. He could feel her small fingers grip his wet shirt like he was the last thing she would ever see. His heart twisted as he realized how fragile she was. She always seemed so strong, fighting against him. Calling him out on all his shit. Then saving them all whenever she had the chance. But holding her like this, seeing her so…shattered…forced him see that she was just a regular girl, who should have been watched over from the get-go. A wave of protectiveness washed over him and his decision was made. He wasn't going to let her be alone ever again.

He kissed her forehead and then he let her head fall onto his shoulder. His hand ran through her hair as another rack of sobs escaped her. He sighed.

"I got you, Bonnie. Always."


End file.
